I've often wondered what it is about bars that encourage an openness in people. In fact my mind has quite often pondered the idea of doing life, ministry, CHURCH in a bar because I love the connectedness that can be created there.
I was talking with another Pastor friend today and he was telling me about his interesting experiences at a local bar lately in town. He has created this friendship with a guy that he met in the community and most of the encounters he has with him has been at this local bar. So he goes and has lunch with him. He was sharing about how crazy it is that all of this guys friends always want to buy him a diet coke.
They think it's exciting to buy the Pastor a coke I guess. But he was commenting on the level of respect they had from him - as when he came to the bar one night in celebration of his friends birthday and a girl "lost her pants" on the table. He said that one minute something was happening and the next his head was being turned toward a wall and he was told to stay there. The bar owner even kicked the girl out which was rare without a warning. They told my friend that the owner only did that because he was there.
What RESPECT!
To think that they would care enough about him to protect him from those things even though they themselves didn't hold the same views. That is the kind of friend I desire in my life! I would feel that regardless what came they would have my back.
I remember a few year back entering into the bar to eat because the restaurant was closed. Myself and a few Pastor friends had just came from a Conference next door. It was late and we were hungry! I don't remember what I had or if the food was even good but I will never forget the conversations I had that night. We 3 were sitting at the bar waiting for our food when we struck up a conversation with the bartender. She was a lady in her late 30's. At first it was just small talk - the weather, where we were from, etc...
but very quickly it turned into a deep conversation about life, respect and love.
This lady was dealing with an abusive situation in her life and was hopeless and at her wits end. We were able to be Jesus in her life by loving and encouraging her humanity and providing direction for her life.
In the midst of the conversation another gentleman found his way a few seats from mine. It seemed that after a few informal greetings that guy began to unload about his life as well. I had a great opportunity to speak encouragement into his life.
So we came back the next night and found ourselves in the same conversations with different people. I will never forget those nights.
So what is it about a bar that allows people to open up? It like Cheers - a place where everybody knows your name. Some might say it's the alcohol. And let's be honest that certainly would loosen some people up. Others might say that it's just to go and find someone to hook up with. But I would challenge the thought that I think it's much more than sex or "loosing yourself."
Totally random thought that is connected but not - At the core of sexuality is connectedness.
I think most people go to bar to escape the current reality they are in and in that process deeply desire to Find themselves. I've seen this so many times that while in the process of conversing with people it seems that that very reality they are trying to escape comes pouring out...
when someone is willing to listen.
So maybe it’s the simple fact that people feel at a bar there are people that will listen to you and won't judge you. There are people that just see your humanity and realize that they are just as human as you and have just as many problems as the person beside them.
So maybe it all comes down to RESPECT.
Maybe it's the fact that when we show people respect - they find ways to respect us back. I am not naive enough to think this is always true. I understand that there are hurtful people out there that don't give a second thought about you or I but I honestly believe that most people
are just looking for... a little RESPECT (Man it would be great to break out into a song now...just a little bit..just a little bit. R E S P E C T...OK I'll spare you the rest.)
Until next time...thanks.
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