I guess we're getting a van

So over the past year it has continued to come up...

having 2 girls and maybe more in the future it was bound to...

My wife Monica would love to have a van. A van. Seriously! I would passionately fight against a van in previous discussions being able to logically and morally refute a van. But alas I guess it has worn on me because lately I have become more open to the idea.

Several weeks ago as we were taking our daughters and one of Emma's friends to the mall it hit me like a ton of bricks. What will happen once Caroline gets old enough and would like to bring a friend along. My first thought was to flip a coin and see who gets strapped on top...but then I decided that cleaning the bugs out of their teeth, though a good source of protein might be a little tedious task. So it hit me...We are out of space! That night back at the house after the girls were sound asleep I finally mentioned...

...wait for it..
(How I Met Your Mother joke)

that I would "consider" a van. I know. I've completely lost it. The "soccer dad" is taking over...PRAY...PRAY that I come back to the light! lol.

I will do anything I can for my family...even if it means to make life easier - getting a van.

Well it seems that reality may be closer than I think with my recent wreck. I was rear ended after visiting the chiropractor just past the school. To lighten the situation I joked with the young man and his mom that well..."My wife has said on several occasions that she would like a van. So here's our opportunity!"

Granted that is NOT the way we wanted to move from our car to a van and actually we really liked our Civic, but ultimately I am SO GRATEFUL TO GOD that no one was in the car with me and that I am actually standing today... in pain but I am standing!

So I think once all settles we are looking for a... van. Sorry it's still hard sometimes. BUT then again...

I had another idea. A guy with a van. Who becomes a motivational speaker and talks about life..
In a van down by the river! Wait... no river close (unless it rains and floods again.) I guess it's back to the drawing board.

Until next time I'll be praying and hoping for a quick recovery! thanks.

soccer tragedy

Today is Tuesday and I have yet another invite to go play soccer with a few college guys at our local indoor soccer complex. I love playing soccer but let’s be honest it has been years since I have ran up and down the field and I am sure that I will kill over after one pass down and back. Regardless if I can slip away for a few moments I will end up playing leaving everything on the field including my breakfast, lunch and dinner. It should be an amusing time for all the spectators.

To be truthful I planned on playing last week but upon arriving at the game I had a young man that needed to talk. He thought I was doing him a favor but honestly a large part of me was glad he was there. So we sat back and watched the game. It quickly became painful obvious the caliber of my friend’s team as in the matter of a few minutes the score was already 4 – 1. My heart went out to them. It’s tough playing a college team who wanted to get some practice on the off season.

As the game drummed on with goal after goal the opposing team started to get bored with the whole endeavor. Many of them quickly became disengaged, no longer hustling after the ball or making clean passes. In fact eventually they started turning and shooting at their own goalie just for the amusement of it all. Finally the buzzed rang and it was halftime. It was easy to see the morale of the teams as my friends were on the benches resting and drinking water with heads hung low while the opposing team never took a break and stayed on the field passing and shooting the ball

Then something interesting happened.

As the second half began one of the best players for the opposing team (aka bad guys) came over and joined my friend’s team (aka good guys). The “bad guys” perked up and the game was on. Most of the second half was like watching a tennis match with the ball on one end and then the next. There were only a few goals scored in the second half which you could attribute to the player who switched sides but honestly it was the defense and rest of the players that stepped up their game.

interesting…

Well the game ended; it was finally over. I asked my friends how they felt about the guy changing teams and most of them responded negatively saying that they wish he wouldn’t had do that. But the painful game was over so we chatted for a while about life before heading home.

So this even has been swirling in my head over the past few days. Here are some thoughts and observations that I have been wrestling with.

I had always heard that great leaders raise the bar of whole team but I found it very intriguing to see it happen even when a team didn’t want his leadership or help. On the other hand I was fascinating to see what little impact personally this guy who changed teams seemed to have. Individually he was shutdown every time he got the ball reminding me that you can have talent – maybe even be the best, most talented person out on the field but most of the time it all comes down to the TEAM working together that makes the difference and it seems that will always trump individualism.

I also thought about something that Reggie Joiner said (via my last post by Carey N.) If you don’t give people something of significance to do they won’t feel significant. I really saw this come to life as the “bad guys” team lost their significance as the game became insignificant to them. They quickly became apathetic and lazy even to the point of fire goals on their own goalie. It seems like that is something I see all too often in the church as well.

I’m still chewing on this one.

We'll see if I end up on the field this week so until next time have a great week. Thanks!

Great Ideas about the church

I wanted to pass this along. Check out Carey’s blog about some interesting ideas from Reggie Joiner about church. My comments are below.

Carey Nieuwhof: Great Ideas

Just a couple thoughts to add to the discussion.

About the small vs. large church. I love what Carey said last in the comments about needing movement in a church regardless of your size. That is spot on!

A thought or two about not resolving the tension:

This is something that I have struggled with for a while. Here is a glimpse from my perspective. In working with teens I have noticed students have been completely unimpressed by scripture. Many of them tell me they have heard it all before – honestly because they have. Don't you just love when teens say that. However many times it seems as if they truly can break down the story word for word, give me all the application points, and even match it to illustration they heard. OK maybe not all that but it often seems that way to them. So they get bored going to church and hearing the same things, the same scripture over and over again because they believe they have already been told all it means (application.) So what more can you learn unless you change the whole interpretation which I have always thought was a valid observation.

To be fair I would say that it's not just students who struggle, but I see it so prevalent among adults as well - an overall lack of interest and captivation. It all seems to be lacking.

Of course I am sure there are several people who can attribute it to this or that but here is at least one observation that I am wading through.

I think not resolving the tension allows some mystery back into the church. And hopefully in time it opens the church to allow God to Capture the Imagination of the people - which is part of what I believe is missing in many of our church environments.

It's like reading a book vs. going to a movie. I hate reading a book after I watch a movie - because now I have a fixed picture of Harry Potter and the whole scene. Hollywood has some great effects but nothing compares to the imagination. I find it so much more fulfilling to engage in a story reading between the lines of the pages and being caught up in lives of the characters...letting my imagination sweep me away to another place and time!

All this, and though I do read, I wouldn't consider myself a reader. I just love it when my mind and heart – my Imagination is Captured!

I think the fear I've heard most often is that we leave the individual or family to now wrestle with this tension. "What if" they come out with a different conclusion or idea from what we were trying to communicate in the first place. Or what if their conclusion is total off base and wrong! So in order to make sure that doesn’t happen we HAVE to tell them , right?

I've had many conversations and debates with some of my closest friends about this. My thoughts have come to this - if I believe the Holy Spirit resides in us to bring us to overflowing with Christ and if I truly believe that He has our best intentions and knows us better than we know ourselves -

Then I personally conclude that I have to trust that as people wrestle and struggle through the difficult that God will be their guide and will do His work in them. Now this causes me to re-examine my role as a leader. I'm still working on it but here is a quick overview - to equip people with tools and relationships that will encourage questions and healthy discussions about life and faith. That’s pretty close.

I'm still in process with much of this but I thought I would share.

As for the significant aspect - I still need to chew on it but it is right in line with some other discussions we have been having over a book called "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris. Some great things to chew on.

Thanks so much!

life in a bar

I've often wondered what it is about bars that encourage an openness in people. In fact my mind has quite often pondered the idea of doing life, ministry, CHURCH in a bar because I love the connectedness that can be created there.

I was talking with another Pastor friend today and he was telling me about his interesting experiences at a local bar lately in town. He has created this friendship with a guy that he met in the community and most of the encounters he has with him has been at this local bar. So he goes and has lunch with him. He was sharing about how crazy it is that all of this guys friends always want to buy him a diet coke.


They think it's exciting to buy the Pastor a coke I guess. But he was commenting on the level of respect they had from him - as when he came to the bar one night in celebration of his friends birthday and a girl "lost her pants" on the table. He said that one minute something was happening and the next his head was being turned toward a wall and he was told to stay there. The bar owner even kicked the girl out which was rare without a warning. They told my friend that the owner only did that because he was there.

What RESPECT!

To think that they would care enough about him to protect him from those things even though they themselves didn't hold the same views. That is the kind of friend I desire in my life! I would feel that regardless what came they would have my back.

I remember a few year back entering into the bar to eat because the restaurant was closed. Myself and a few Pastor friends had just came from a Conference next door. It was late and we were hungry! I don't remember what I had or if the food was even good but I will never forget the conversations I had that night. We 3 were sitting at the bar waiting for our food when we struck up a conversation with the bartender. She was a lady in her late 30's. At first it was just small talk - the weather, where we were from, etc...

but very quickly it turned into a deep conversation about life, respect and love.

This lady was dealing with an abusive situation in her life and was hopeless and at her wits end. We were able to be Jesus in her life by loving and encouraging her humanity and providing direction for her life.

In the midst of the conversation another gentleman found his way a few seats from mine. It seemed that after a few informal greetings that guy began to unload about his life as well. I had a great opportunity to speak encouragement into his life.

So we came back the next night and found ourselves in the same conversations with different people. I will never forget those nights.

So what is it about a bar that allows people to open up? It like Cheers - a place where everybody knows your name. Some might say it's the alcohol. And let's be honest that certainly would loosen some people up. Others might say that it's just to go and find someone to hook up with. But I would challenge the thought that I think it's much more than sex or "loosing yourself."

Totally random thought that is connected but not - At the core of sexuality is connectedness.

I think most people go to bar to escape the current reality they are in and in that process deeply desire to Find themselves. I've seen this so many times that while in the process of conversing with people it seems that that very reality they are trying to escape comes pouring out...

when someone is willing to listen.

So maybe it’s the simple fact that people feel at a bar there are people that will listen to you and won't judge you. There are people that just see your humanity and realize that they are just as human as you and have just as many problems as the person beside them.

So maybe it all comes down to RESPECT.

Maybe it's the fact that when we show people respect - they find ways to respect us back. I am not naive enough to think this is always true. I understand that there are hurtful people out there that don't give a second thought about you or I but I honestly believe that most people

are just looking for... a little RESPECT (Man it would be great to break out into a song now...just a little bit..just a little bit. R E S P E C T...OK I'll spare you the rest.)

Until next time...thanks.